


expectations

by zapatterson



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hate Sex, Kinda, i can't write smut lmaooo, rough sex (??), this is short bc i lost the original doc and my motivation to rewrite it all was deflated, we all know i LOVE angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 01:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapatterson/pseuds/zapatterson
Summary: Patterson jerks her body forward, kissing the brunette with the same roughness as the first time. The blonde still had Tasha’s wrists held up, with her fingers digging in but Tasha couldn’t care





	expectations

**Author's Note:**

> yeaah yeah it's been a while go scream at me on twitter but enjoy this in the meantime (also in honour of hayley kiyoko's album i've named the fic expectations)

It had been two weeks since Patterson told her that the only relationship she could handle with the brunette was at work. It’s the reason why Tasha was currently staying with Brianna. She kept the fact that she had been working with Borden a secret from Patterson to protect the blonde and the last thing she wanted was for Patterson to be hurt, let alone by her.

She messaged Patterson asking if it was okay to drop by their apartment to pick up a few clothes. _Their apartment. _Tasha has never been so afraid of losing the woman she loves as she does right now.__

__Patterson replied two days later with ‘Okay.’ and it took Tasha three hours to prepare herself to mentally see the blonde outside of a work setting. Patterson would only indulge her in a conversation at work if it was anything to do with a case so Tasha wasn’t sure what to expect when Patterson opened the door to their apartment. Out of courtesy she knocked instead of using her own key._ _

__To be honest, she was expecting Patterson to completely blank her after opening the door. Even a cold, hard stare._ _

__She most definitely wasn’t expecting to be pulled inside and pushed against the now closed door with Patterson kissing her, hard. Patterson is rough, almost as if she had something to take away from Tasha._ _

__Tasha knew this was wrong. As much as she, more than anything, wanted for the past two weeks. She was ridden with guilt for hurting the blonde._ _

__This was wrong, and Tasha shouldn’t be wanting this so bad right now._ _

__Patterson knew it was wrong, yet she doesn’t stop, and she certainly doesn’t move away from Tasha, instead getting even rougher with the brunette’s hair bunched up into her fist whilst she kisses back, desperately._ _

__Once Tasha realises that Patterson wasn’t backing away she meets the taller woman with the same force and kisses her harder, at a faster pace._ _

__It doesn’t stop Tasha feeling guilty throughout, she hates herself for wanting this at the same time and so she stops. “Patterson, we shou-“_ _

__“No.” Patterson snaps back at her, in the same way she shut the brunette down two weeks ago._ _

__And Tasha’s face looks just as stricken with hurt now as it did then. Patterson searches for something in Tasha’s eyes and she must have found it because a moment later she pushes Tasha until her back hits the wall with a soft thud._ _

__Tasha stares back into blue eyes, which look wild, as the blonde still has the shorter woman’s wrists held over her head._ _

__Patterson leans in and holds her mouth just beside the brunette’s ear, “What else have you lied to me about?”_ _

__“I, I... nothing else-“ Tasha stumbles out, feeling Patterson’s hot breath on her face._ _

__“Don’t lie to me,” Patterson pleads, the hurt evident in her voice “please.”_ _

__Patterson’s hand slams the wall just beside the brunette’s head and Tasha doesn’t flinch at all, remaining still._ _

__Patterson jerks her body forward, kissing the brunette with the same roughness as the first time. The blonde still had Tasha’s wrists held up, with her fingers digging in but Tasha couldn’t care. She’s been without Patterson’s touch for too long._ _

__Tasha kisses back even harder, reaching between them to unbutton Patterson’s shirt, whilst the blonde impatiently kisses at her neck which will most definitely leave marks tomorrow._ _

__Once Tasha tears the top off, her hands go to the blonde’s boobs and she stops overthinking it all as she takes Patterson’s bra off in one swift motion. As the brunette lowers her mouth to them, the taller woman pushes Tasha lower, in line with the buttons of her jeans._ _

__Tasha looks up at Patterson who only nudges her shoulders once more which Tasha takes as confirmation to unbutton the jeans. Patterson’s fingers curl into Tasha’s hair tightly and the brunette quickens her pace at taking off the blonde’s pants._ _

__It didn’t take long for Tasha to position herself and her tongue entered Patterson within seconds. The warmth startled Patterson but it only made her grip Tasha’s hair tighter. She moaned and kept her eyes clenched shut as she rode out the orgasm._ _

__She growled out “Bedroom.” and Tasha complied._ _

__Patterson roughly pushed the brunette onto the bed “You fucked up.” The blonde held the shorter womans wrists above her head._ _

__Tasha’s eyes watered as she looked away from the blonde hovering above her “I’m sor-“_ _

__“No. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything from you.” Patterson used a small piece of material that Tasha couldn’t fully make out in the dimmed room and used it to gag her._ _

__An hour went by of Patterson fucking Tasha senselessly and vice versa with Tasha using her fingers until they both lay side by side breathless._ _

__It takes so much in Patterson not to cry but she can feel the imminent tears. She wants to crawl into Tasha but she keeps reminding herself how hurt she had– has been because of her._ _

__Tasha lays motionless, unsure what to do. She has never felt so guilty in her life. she feels Patterson shuffle onto her side, the one facing away from her._ _

__“Go.” The word feels heavy in Patterson’s throat as if saying anything more would result in her breaking down, which she couldn’t bear to do in front of the brunette right now._ _

__Tasha grabs the nearest shirt lay strewn across the chair. Their chair. It’s the one they bought together from the recycled furniture shop down on 42nd._ _

___Fuck. _Tasha thinks. _How has she screwed up this much. ______ _

______Once she’s decent enough Tasha makes her exit but not before pausing in the doorway and looking back at Patterson, who lay naked bar the sheet covering her legs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I hurt you and I’m sorry-“ Tasha begins_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please don’t.” Patterson croaks out._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know, I know. I don’t deserve to be forgiven.” With that Tasha leaves what used to be their shared bedroom._ _ _ _ _ _

______As she leaves through the front door, she faintly hears the sobs coming from the room she had just left, and Tasha’s broken heart breaks a million times more._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> a n g s t idk if i should carry this and will i ever tho


End file.
